Group Mentality

I've been neglecting the Blog lately, 360 has consumed me...

Have you ever noticed that with every group of friends you can always count on finding 4 distinct but complimenting personalities? I think this is usually most pronounced among women, but I've seen it with guy friends too. Maybe that's just because I spend a lot more time around women than men. I call it Sex in the City syndrome. Anyway, I find it very interesting that this same phenomena occurs even with very small children. I've been watching the dynamics between my daughter and her three main girl friends at school (technically daycare, but we call it school) and it's pretty funny.

We've got:

• Evil Genius "idea man" (or woman as it were)
• Comic relief, crazy, up for anything
• High maintenance whiner/complainer (I told you we shouldn't have done it)
• Quiet, reserved, just goes along

It absolutely cracks me up when I see the 4 of them interacting. (un)Lucky me, in this case, mine qualifies as Evil Genius.

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Green Edition

Yeah, so the beard has kind of gotten out of control, but it sure came in handy the other night. I couldn't get to a store early enough to get a spot in line to buy an Xbox360 at any of the midnight openings...most of those lines started before lunch time. So, I had to do the next best thing, camp out at a store that opened at normal time on Tuesday morning. And as I guess you can see, it totally paid off.

I won't go into the whole story, manly because I've hardly slept since and am now starting to nod off a bit, but also because it's really not that interesting. Me and a bunch of other dorks, freezing our asses off in front of a closed store. Ooooo. There was some drama leading up to the beginning of my camp out, but nothing really more intresting than me wandering the WA highways lost in the fog. But suffice to say, after a long and chilly night huddled up in front of Target, I got my Xbox360. I wasn't high enough in line to get the Premium package, but at least I walked away with something.

Anyway, I threw the camera on the tripod and snapped this picture of myself after I finally got home and unpacked everything. Not very pretty and not very creative, but it's a good shot of reality. Plus I was way, way, WAY high on Rockst*r energy drink. Game on!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Garage Update

Kick Plate
Originally uploaded by That Will Guy.

I didn't have enough time to really go to town on the garage this weekend, plus I only have so much kerosene for my garage heater, so the best I could do was "cautionize" the kickplate under the door. I think I'm going to like this theme a lot. There are several other things in the garage besides the conduit that I can paint up like this so I'm excited in a totally dorky way. The one I'm really anxious about is this pole that's just bolted to the floor in front of the water heater. I assume it's there to keep you from hitting it with your car or something. That'll look great all yellow and black. Although, I'm thinking it's going to be a real bitch to get the masking right so the black stripes circle it evenly.

If Only I Were An Asshole

I had a stroke of absolute brilliance today. A truly genious thought the likes of which rarely come my way. The only problem is, it requires that I become something that I'm just not: an asshole.

For those of you that don't know me, or haven't been following along for a while, I've got one of the biggest dickhead, bitchy and all around truly repugnant neighbors in all the land. They'll bitch about anything, and most of all love to do it when the subject has nothing to do with me. They don't ever bother asking, they just come on over and start laying out. (the links aren't requried reading, but do help explain just what makes my idea so damn good)

So I'm backing out of my driveway today and I notice that the tree they have planted in their front yard no longer has any leaves left on it. Taking a closer look, those leaves are now, of course, on the ground. More specifically, they are on the ground right around the tree. Even more specifically, they are in MY yard.

*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* fucking *DING*

Oh to have the nerve. Oh to have the balls. Oh to have an emergency bottle of tequilla on hand!!

I can't tell you how much I want to trudge right on over there with a huge smile on my face, ring that door bell, point at the leaves and wait for someone to answer the door.

Brilliant I tell you, abso-friggin-lutely brilliant!

Friday Five

1. Favorite brand of jeans:
I don't really have a favorite, anything that's comfortable. But I do own several pairs of Dungarees. Sorry Lee, I've been able to Bust 'Em.

2. Magazine you read regularly:
I've been bad about reading magazines lately, but the ones I typically enjoy include Popular Mechanics and anything Woodworking related.

3. If a button came off your clothing, could you sew it back on?
Yeah, and I can iron a mean shirt too. :P My mom was a Home Ec. (Home Ech.?) major and has always been an all around June Cleaver. She taught me well.

4. Have you ever had a curfew?
Court or parental imposed? No on the former, yes on the latter. Midnight I think...been a while.

5. Most dangerous thing you've done:
Oh gosh, I was quite the hellion growing up, too many to list. The most dangerous thing I've ever done, over and over, was back in my clubbing days. Club 1082 used to have $5 cover and free drinks till 10:00 on Friday nights. I'd usually share a bottle of wine with my girlfriend at the time and then head to the club. The basement had a bar on either side of the room. I'd go to one, grab a Rum and Coke, drink it while I walked to the bar on the other side and grab a Rum and Coke there. Repeat until free drinks were over. Then I'd dance for a few hours, hop in the car and drive back to her place basically on autopilot. If it weren't for the fact that she lived a straight shot down Broadway and also the fact that the lights there are timed perfectly late at night, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here right now.

Not very exciting, I know, but I'm always thankful that I somehow dodged so many bullets there.

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Invisible Edition

Sorry folks, no HNT entry for me this week. I came down with a nasty case of the stomach flu this evening and don't feel up to scrounging around for a suitable picture. Plus, I cheated with an old picture last week, so best not make it two weeks in a row. There's Nekkid and then there's Sick-Nekkid...nobody wants to see the latter.

So hopefully you'll all do me a favor and imagine that some sexy picture is over there on the left!

Decisions, Decisions

I've started what's probably going to be a long and drawn-out project painting the garage. I've only done one little portion so far, but I really like how it's turning out. Since it is a garage/workshop, I can do some things in there that you really can't do anywhere else. Like my silly gray stripe. One thing I've been thinking a lot about is what to do with the conduit I've run for things like the air conditioner and power outlets for shop equipment.

Three ideas have come to mind, and I can't decide if I should go with one of them or if there's something else that would be cooler.

• Option 1 — Paint them white to blend in.
• Option 2 — Paint them green and add leaves to the walls for a vine effect.
• Option 3 — Paint them yellow with angled black stripes for an industrial hazard effect.

Making them blend in is probably the best choice when considering resale, but it's not very intersting and certainly not very fun. Painting them green to look like vines would look pretty neat I think, but it doesn't quite say "workshop". The hazard look is cool, but would be a heck of a lot of work to pull off right.

What say the peoples of the Internets?

Painted Wall	Conduit Runs

Late Night Lovin'

Dear Rockst*r, oh how I love you so. Your Double Strength, Double Size can contains all the pick-me-up a night owl could wish for and then some. Your label says you'll make me Bigger, Better, Faster and Stronger. Although I've yet to notice those particular effects, you do keep me wide-eyed at ungodly hours of the night. I'll always hold you close to my mouth, you precious vessel of citric acid and speed.

Forever yours,

Sombody who may regret loving you twice tonight

Making Friends

New Friend
Originally uploaded by That Will Guy.

I made a new friend over the weekend. It kind of has expensive tastes so we probably won't go out very often, but I sure did enjoy its company.

They say an apple a day is really good for you. That leads me to believe that apple juice is probably good for you as well, so it's hardly a big jump over to hard cider. Right?

Found Porn

My daughter loves crayons.

She also loves popsicles.

What better thing could there possibly be than crayon shaped popsicles?

Well, that's what I thought at first. When you first take them out of the wrapper, they do really look like a crayon. However, as I was just sitting on the couch eating one, I found they rapidly turn into something else. By nature popsicles are pretty phallic, but this takes it to a whole new level. I'm not so sure I'm going to let her have any...

Oh The Tempation!

Man, if I walked out on my deck this evening and all of a sudden it was 10 years ago, I SO would have gone joy-riding tonight. They're still doing prep-work behind my house, laying pipe (heh heh) and such, but haven't started building houses yet. Well, the smart guys that they are, somebody left the engine running in a large backhoe and then quit for the day. It's sitting back there behind my fence idling away, just begging to be taken for a spin. I'm almost tempted to get up early tomorrow so I can see the guy's face when he arrives on the job site.

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Tribute Edition

First, I apologize for the crappy image quality. The damn scanner is still done broke, therefore a picture of a picture is the best I can do.

I haven't shaved the beard since last week's HNT entry (having too much fun stroaking it as if in deep thought), so that pretty much rules out a followup for this week. But, I thought I'd still do a litte juxtaposition and go from extreme non-shaving to extreme shaving.

This is me in a hotel room the night before the state swim meet my senior year in high school. And, if it's not obvious, taking part in the ritualistic shaving swimmers (and cyclists) are so well known for. Don't worry ladies (and gentlemen if that's your thing), I was "of age" in this picture so you don't have to feel dirty for looking. Not that it's all that exciting anyway... But, I know the words "high school" alongside a picture of a half-naked person can cause a bit of a stir and I sure wouldn't want to be reponsible for that.

Foreseeing a few questions, I'll nip them at the bud: No, the original picture doesn't pan down. No, I don't know what I was pointing at. I'm open for suggestions though :)

With luck, maybe this will serve as a little motivational tool for getting myself back to the gym.

So there we have it, my HNT tribute to youth and constant exercise.

Thanks Osbasso, you do the world a great service!

Boy, Didn't See This Coming...

A popular adult magazine has made an offer to the two cheerleaders accused of having sex with each other in a Florida bar and getting involved in a fight, according to a Local 6 News report.

Penthouse magazine is courting Renee Thomas, 20, and Angela Keathley, 26, to pose nude, according to the report.

http://www.local6.com/news/5278661/detail.html

That's like a requirement now if you're female and you've been in the news lately, right? Sheesh, give it a rest Larry. Just watch though, they're going to do it. If not Larry then Hugh.

Pizza Sauce is teh Ouchie

Short setup: I tend to be a neat freak when I'm in the kitchen. Wash dishes as you go anyone? (yeah, my hand is raised)

So I took a piping hot pizza out of the oven last night, set it on the cutting board, and had at it with the pizza cutter. The first two passes were fine, but on the third my index finger was trailing down a bit and a big glob of sauce jumped out and attacked it. Rather than quickly shaking my hand to fling the sauce off while I screamed in agony (that would cause a mess), I calmly and very painfully rushed over to the sink, turned on the cold water and doused my finger. Now the damage was probably already done, we're talking 450° sauce here, but that extra 3 seconds didn't do me any favors.

Ever have a burn blister puffing out your cuticle? Fucking OW!

Dreams Do Come True

You can't make this stuff up folks.

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were charged after their arrest at a bar where witnesses...said the women were having sex in a stall with each other, angering patrons waiting in line to get into the restroom at the club in the Channelside district...Renee Thomas, 20, of Pittsboro, N.C., and Angela Keathley, 26, of Belmont, N.C., were taken to Hillsborough County Jail early Sunday.

Talk about your all time "guy fantasy" coming true, two cheerleaders getting busy with each other...too bad it was by their lonesome in a restroom stall. I know cheerleaders have a bad rap of not being on the, er, higher end of the mental scale but really, what did they expect to come of this? Hogging a stall in a busy restroom (wonders of wonders it wasn't the one in my building), punching out an angry witness and then passing the cops somebody else's ID? Sharp, very sharp.

Silly Dog

This pooch and his "chew toy" was a filler story on the news the other night. Somebody shot some video of him riding in the back of a pickup truck and enjoying a little rubber treat. It gave me a good chuckle so I took a photo of it to share. Apologies for the poor quality, pictures of TV apparently don't turn out very well. At least I was able to get one with out a big black bar on it though. :) Enjoy!

Alphabet thingy

Thanks to Femi-Mommy for providing something to do while waiting for my code to build.

1. Age of your first kiss: I honestly can't remember, been a looooong time ago.
2. Band you are listening to right now: Android Lust. Shikhee is a babe.
3. Crush: Most recent would be Keira Knightly I suppose. She had a great smile in Love Actually.
4. Dad's name: If you know mine, you know his.
5. Easiest person to talk to: My daughter, she doesn't care.
6. Favorite ice cream: Daiquiri Ice.
7. Gummy worms or gummy bears: Neither, Sour Patch Kids.
8. Hometown: Somewhere in the Cheese State.
9. Instruments: Skin flute?
10. Junior High: Named after a guy with apple problems.
11. Kids: One.
12. Longest car ride: Denver -> Seattle. Sux.
13. Mom's name: Can have chocolate chips in it.
14. Nicknames: Joe. Only applies to my sister: "What's up Joe?" I have no idea where that one came from.
15. One wish: Impossible things.
16. Phobia: Luposlipaphobia.
17. Quote: Bla.
18. Reasons to smile: ...
19. Scent: Pine.
20. Time you woke up today: Noon.
21. Unknown fact about me: I shave, but at the moment, not my face.
22. Values: Yes.
23. Worst luck with: Getting in the wrong (slowest) line at the grocery store.
24. Xrays you've had: A few of the brain, one of the face (that one was soooo cool), collar bone area, teeth.
25. Years since you've been to church: Not sure, but I think the last time was my grandfather's funeral 2+ years ago.
26. ZAP AND ZING: Huh?

On Poo

The men's room on my office floor is highly active. Not like halftime at a football game active, but I'm thinking it's still much more so than your typical restroom. And if there's one thing I know a lot about, well, it's not restroom activity. Anyway, it's pretty much a given that if I start walking in that direction, I'll encounter at least one other person doing the same and also at least one person already in there. It's really not uncommon for me to walk in and find myself in the company of 5 or 6 other people in various states of "doneness". I don't know what the deal is, it's not like we have an unusually high number of people on this floor or anything. (Note to janitorial staff, check the soap and towel dispensers more often, please!)

So, as you can probably imagine, along with this heavy usage comes a high likelihood that when I walk in I'll also be met with an odor that most would describe as...unpleasant. This has caused much debate with myself as to how to best handle that unfortunate situation. (This is the part where I start to sound like a bit of a freak. You know, kind of like Bob in What About Bob?)

If I knew I'd be by myself, I'd happily convert my shirt into a makeshift stank filter and hike it up over my nose. Problem solved. However, as I mentioned, that is highly unlikely in this building. So my only real options are to A, grin and bear it or B, hold my breath and hope for the best.

To be perfectly honest, I'm really not a big fan of option A. If you seriously think about it, who would be? I mean, "smell" isn't something that just is. Smells are physically something. Molecules to be exact. In this case, stinky, stinky molecules. Now, in order for you to smell something, three things need to be in place: a volatile source, air circulation and a receiver, i.e. your nose. When molecules from that thing to make it to your nose, they attach to bla, bla, bla, science, science, bla, and your brain distinguishes the smell.

So what's the important thing to take away from that paragraph? Source. Molecules. Receiver. Pieces (molecules) of poo (source), which came from a butt (root source), are entering your nose (receiver) and taking up camp! This can start a whole other discussion on whether 'tis better to then breathe through your nose or through your mouth. In the case of the latter, these little pieces are going directly into your mouth, waving hello to your taste buds and then heading for a home in your lungs. Yummy. If you go the nose route you at least get a bit of filtration, but at a terrifically smelly cost.

That leaves us with good 'ole option B. Option B is appropriately labeled because B also stands for blue. And that's what you look like if you go this route. But for the skittish, it's really your only option. The problem is, by the time you determine there's an air quality issue, option A has already been going on for a little while. Then, you still have to do what you went in there for, wash your hands, dry your hands and escape. No matter how fast you are, this takes a good amount of time and time really slows down when you're holding your breath. Unfortunately for me I'm a former nicotine addict and therefore don't have the lung capacity I used to back in my swimming days, so I'm even at more of a disadvantage here.

I always give option B the college try, but in the end I usually have to resort to option A, lest I just pass out on the spot. And you really don't want that. There aren't many things dirtier than a bathroom floor.

Anyway, this is the kind of stuff I think about on Fridays when it's raining out and I have a mental block. I really don't have a conclusion here so I'll just stop. Happy restrooming!

Friday Five

And on time this week!

1. What is your shoe size?
9 1/2ish. 8 if I'm buying UK. I have found lately that it really fluctuates with different manufacturers though.

2. How many hours did you sleep last night?
2

3. Area code of your phone number:
425

4. Last grade of school completed:
17

5. Time it takes you to get ready in the morning:
Depends on how good the warm water feels on a particular day and whether or not it's a weekend. I'd say that it's 10-15 minutes on average.

Half-Nekkid Thursday - No Sleep Edition

So here's what turned out to be my Halloween costume this year: Guy With Beard Who Also Doesn't Sleep Much. I stopped shaving just over two weeks ago and here's the result.

I really wasn't intentionally going for a beard thing, but I came down with a cold and just didn't feel like shaving for a few days. Then a few days turned into several days, at which point I cringed at the thought of the razor tugging on those suckers. Too long to just shave, but too short to trim down with the trimmer setting on my Norelco.

So several days has turned into two weeks and here we have it. I'm really not a facial hair person and keep meaning to scrape it off, but it's been very chilly and rainy up here lately and I just haven't had the gumption to do it. Now I figure I'll wait another week and then maybe try some creative shaving just to see what things look like. Might as well. Any votes from the peanut gallery?

Update: There have been one or two requests for a "before" picture, so always one to oblige I dug something up. Here's comparable shot taken in the last few months. Lack of sleep included.

Anyway, here is The Before Shot.

Update 2: Also by request, what I was looking at. :)

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I'm Doomed

At least I'm not a bank teller or secretary, but still...

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

10,000

Watch Me Levitate It
Originally uploaded by That Will Guy.

This was the 10,000th photo taken with my camera. Unfreakin' believable!

Even more unbelievable is the fact that the idiots at Canon set the auto-numbering in the camera to only 4 digits, so this one was actually IMG_0001 again. Lame.

Anyway, just wanted to mark the milestone. Nothing else to see here, hope you all had a great Halloween.