EverlastingKnowItAll

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Loserville - Population: Me

It's done. Over. Finished. The last thread of my being has been snipped, my life has come to an end. I'm officially a 100% suburbanized loser.


(with clicky goodness) Got everything except the navigation system. God damn, I feel like such a chode.

At least the good news is, we get one fuck of a good discount on Honda's through work.




Friday, May 26, 2006

Friday Five

Been a few weeks...too busy lately.


1. Where did you grow up?
Littleton, Colorado

2. Have you ever been to Indiana?
Nope, but I know some people that used to live there.

3. Describe yourself at age 18:
Fit, bored, (very) rebellious and oversexed.

4. How do you deal with pain?
Good drugs.

5. When is the last time you screwed up?
I screw up every day, it's good for you. The kicker is making it look like you actually intended it.




Tuesday, May 23, 2006

This Shouldn't be the Answer

I do not know what the thoughts were in your head, but I am deeply saddened that they led to this. Rest in Peace Neil. Rest in Peace.


Suicide Commando
Cause of Death: Suicide

Each year, approximately 1 million people die from suicide.
Each year, approximately 1 million people die from suicide.
Each year, approximately 1 million people die from suicide.

One Death
One Try
Are you sure?
Do you really want to Die?
One life One cry
Go away
Your nothing but a lie
One shot
And you'll die
In the Head
In the center of the eyes
One Gun
One Try
My God.
Do you really want to die?

Do you really want to die?
One death
One Try
Are you sure?
Do you really want to Die?
One step
One try
On the edge
Do you really want to try?
One tempt
One cry
I cant cope
I no longer want this life
One rope
One try
My god.
Do you really want to die?

Do you really want to die?
Do you?




Retained

RetainedSo in some ways, not having an Xbox isn't so bad. I'm actually getting some stuff done these days that I otherwise probably wouldn't. That's not to say I don't miss the hell out of the 360, cuz I do, but at least I've found something to replace it.

Case in point, new retaining wall I built over the weekend. I figured for sure this would be a 1 day project. Three days later... I'm actually almost done, getting my dirt delivered today to backfill everything and then 20 trees show up on Thursday. Really looking forward to carting 6 cubic yards of dirt from the driveway to the backyard by myself. Go muscles, GO!!

Injuries racked up over the weekend:
  • Sunburn
  • Sledgehammered hand
  • Twice
  • Hacksawed finger
  • Cut arm
  • Cut other arm
  • Bruised arm
  • Cut hand
  • Cracked thumb
  • Cut leg
Ahhhhh...typical project. ;)




Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Mere Shadow Edition

Sometimes you just feel like an old weathered shadow.

It's difficult enough when you live in someone else's, but how do you cope with living in your own?

HNTbutton




Friday, May 12, 2006

R.I.P.

My Xbox 360 died last night. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner for a while.

Noooooooooooooo!





Thursday, May 11, 2006

Fortune

Apparently I've gone back to forgetting about HNT again. At least I keep remembering to grab a fortune cookie when I get stir fry...

You have a charming way with
words. Tomorrow write a letter.


Translation: Cool, maybe I should write my lawyer about collecting millions from Sesame Street.




Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Oh What a Week

I totally know how this guy feels right now.





Thursday, May 04, 2006

Best Product Launch Evah!

Introducing the Norelco Bodygoom.

The Bodygroom can make your *beep* look bigger.

http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/


I swore this was a joke till I found them for sale on Amazon.com. You must try out all of the menu items, this whole site is brilliantly hilarious.




Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Songs That Make You Smile

I've been digging deep into the music collection lately and just fired up some Lords of Acid. Nothing like some X-rated Acid House to get the body moving. I hadn't listened to them in a while and I'd forgotten how much I like their Lust album. I have some very fond memories of cranking up this album in the dorm back in college and doing...stuff.

Arguably I Sit on Acid is the best track on the album ("Darling come hee-re, fuck me up the...?") but I Must Increase My Bust always gives me a good grin.

Do that dance!

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

I got to admit I'm obsessed by tits
I had this problem since I was a kid
I used to look up to my auntie Marie
'cause she had big tits hanging down to her knees
Her nipples were poking right out of her gown
If boobs gave you wings she'd be flying around
As I grew older I made up my mind
I'd get me the biggest ones I could find

Do that dance!

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

Do that dance!

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

My ass just got bigger, my boobs stayed the same
I had to do something 'cause I was ashamed
I filled up my bra with mellons and see
I looked like a fagot, a vamp in 3d.
The trick with the mellons, a shot in the eye
Not long did I wait to catch the first guy
But of course I forgot that mellons do rot
I smelled like garbage, shit warmed up

Do that dance!

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)

I got a new plan the idea is real cool
I decided to go to a gymnastic school
there I found out that I'm not alone
Suffering from this flatchested syndrom
So when I wake up or go into bed
I remember the wise words that my teacher said
If you want your man to drown in your lust
You must, you must increase your bust

Do that dance!

I must, I must, I must increase my bust (x4)




Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Fortune

Had some VERY yummy Teriyaki in the cafeteria today. Doin' the happy dance!

You have a keen sense of humor
and bring out the best in others.


Translation: Yay me.




Monday, May 01, 2006

The Everlasting Quiz

Always following in HappyKap's footsteps, I finally got off my ass and finished my quiz.

Anyway, if you feel so inclined:


PS- It's really not Everlasting, but I was able to scrape up 10 questions.




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