If Only I Were An Asshole

I had a stroke of absolute brilliance today. A truly genious thought the likes of which rarely come my way. The only problem is, it requires that I become something that I'm just not: an asshole.

For those of you that don't know me, or haven't been following along for a while, I've got one of the biggest dickhead, bitchy and all around truly repugnant neighbors in all the land. They'll bitch about anything, and most of all love to do it when the subject has nothing to do with me. They don't ever bother asking, they just come on over and start laying out. (the links aren't requried reading, but do help explain just what makes my idea so damn good)

So I'm backing out of my driveway today and I notice that the tree they have planted in their front yard no longer has any leaves left on it. Taking a closer look, those leaves are now, of course, on the ground. More specifically, they are on the ground right around the tree. Even more specifically, they are in MY yard.

*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* fucking *DING*

Oh to have the nerve. Oh to have the balls. Oh to have an emergency bottle of tequilla on hand!!

I can't tell you how much I want to trudge right on over there with a huge smile on my face, ring that door bell, point at the leaves and wait for someone to answer the door.

Brilliant I tell you, abso-friggin-lutely brilliant!