Turning on a Know It All

I am often^* asked "How exactly does one turn on a Know It All?" As a free public service, I thought I would answer this question for the masses once and for all. Also, I'm selfishly trying to promote the answer because I think it would be totally steak sauce^** if this happened more often.

What brought about this post you say? Well, I've recently been reminded of this particular (fetish?) of mine by two highly unusual sighting locations: The Zoo and Chevy's Restaurant.

So cut to the chase, two hyphenated words: Thigh-Highs.^{† ‡}

I don't know what it is about them, but there is absolutely no article of clothing that could possibly be cooler. Well, I suppose no articles of clothing at all would potentially be better, but that's a whole different conversation. Not to mention really tough to find in public since I don't frequent nude beaches.

Anyway, I found it extremely unusual (yet quite exciting) that a trip to the zoo several weeks ago netted someone all done up in a long sleek skirt split about all the way up, thigh-highs and total stiletto heels. The heels don't do much for me, but those stockings...dear lord! I normally hate the zoo, especially when it's cold out like it was that day, but that particular visit turned out to be just what the doctor ordered. I've got a picture of the heels that I'll throw up on Flickr one of these days. I found heels of that altitude to be even stranger for touring the zoo than the stockings, so of course, I had to document them.

Then, just this past weekend, I go to an otherwise uneventful dinner at Chevy's and in walks this guy and his girlfriend headed towards the table for 20 right in front of me. She had on a way tight half-shirt, extremely short jean skirt, and yes, thigh-highs. That made my dinner.^††

So let me be the first to declare a revolution on panty hose. Viva la Thigh-highs!!


^*When I'm asleep and dreaming.
^**See How I Met Your Mother.
^†Double points for sweet designs a la Wicked Witch of the West.
^‡Triple points for completing the ensemble.
^††Is it sad that spying this sort of thing while out and about is pretty much as exciting as it gets for me?