So Dreamy in Paris

Inaugural DOTW!

Thur 9/29
I don't know how I got there, but I found myself outside at a party at somebody's (very large) house. For whatever reason, Paris Hilton is my date. But it's kind of awkward, not like a real date, more of like I somehow won a date with her. But it wasn't that either, just the closest explanation I can think of. So we are standing around this super long buffet kind of table that is outside in a very large backyard. Paris hands me a glass of champagne and says it's called Richtal and that it is way better than Cristal. We toast to who knows what and I take a sip. It's the most wonderful nectar to ever reach my lips and that's the only way I can describe it.

Suddenly I find myself upstairs inside the house. I wander into a bathroom which leads out to a deck. Once on the deck I have a view of Mt. Ranier like you have never seen before, like it's the whole backyard of the house. The weird thing is, there are people all over the side of the mountain, tumbling down it and kicking up snow as they go. I ponder that for a second and then head down the stairs attached to the deck to get back to the party.

Along the way I run into Paris' sister (Nicole?). She's entertaining people by bending over and showing them what she's wearing under her skirt, which is nothing. As I walk by she accidentally pees while bending over and falls over laughing. The crowd gathered around follows suit. Somebody walks up to me and asks me if I saw the Zebra and points at Nicole. I have no idea what he's talking about so I continue on.

I get back to the buffet table which is now entirely filled with exotic bottles of champagne and has a bartender behind it. I try to ask for another glass of Richtal, but he just speaks to me rather rudely in some weird language. He starts offering up a whole bunch of different glasses, like chalices and stuff, nothing close to a champagne flute. I think he's dicking with me. Somehow he conveys to everyone that he needs $20 from the gathering crowd in order to go back to work. I contribute $5 and he disappears into the back. A few seconds later he returns and starts pouring glasses for everyone...except me. Then he goes away again.

I see him playing around in the back and start yelling at him to get out here and give me a drink like everyone else. After a few minutes of that he casually walks back to the table and starts making fun of me. Somehow he suddenly learned English.

The phone rings. Damn wakeup calls...

Exp: I've got no explanation but this was really weird because I don't think I could stand spending 5 minutes with that Paris hag. Actually now that I think about it, I didn't.